Bear of a Day

 

It’s been a brutal two days.  Readying oneself for a routine colonoscopy is one for the books.  The prep agenda is….shall I say, involved? 

 

I’ve had this procedure done twice before.  One would assume I would take it like a man.  Oh, wrong adage.  George had his procedure done last week and totally freaked out about the pre-cocktail beverage.  I’m just saying.

 

I’m not about to brag here about what a marvel patient I was.  For days (and days) I’ve dreaded this moment in time.  I apologize to my friends and family who have tolerated the incessant referrals to “my upcoming procedure”.  A great deal of worrying went into my thoughts on having to fast for 24 hours.  Eating is a religion to me.  I never miss a meal, and most days I manage to carve out an extra.   Even before the countdown begins (an entire week) one has to forgo nuts and whole grains.  I ask you….what’s left? 

So experience aside, my anxiety was peaking when I woke up on D-Day (that stands for Damn Day that the prepping was to commence).  My friend Faye was most kind to offer to distract me as I tackled the day armed with bullion, Sprite and tea….only clear liquids allowed.  Damn, I forgot to ask about Chardonnay…clear all the way to the bottom of the stemware!   Well, best to refrain from imbibing on prep-day.  I’m sure it’s in the rules somewhere.

 

The day did manage to pass albeit s-l-o-w-l-y, and at 6:00 last night I launched into chugging back the most god-awful concoction that the medical community has ever come up with.   It just defies swallowing.   Somehow it managed to bypass that pleasant gag reflex and went down the hatch.

That started the ball rolling….I was perking.  There’s no need to attempt to do anything (watch TV, read, relax….) while this part of the prep is taking place.  One must stay mindful of how many steps it takes you to reach the water closet.  My chair inched closer and closer.

 

I’ll spare the reader of any further details.  Another 16 oz. bottle consumed at 5:00 AM had me completely ready for scoping.  You’ll have to take my word on this.

 

The Procedure went well.  The staff at Southside Community Hospital is spot on….professional and pleasant.  I’m pleased to have met their acquaintance, but I’m thrilled (bar any catastrophe) I don’t have to see them again for 10 years! 

I couldn’t wait to get home to EAT.  My anesthetist’s  parting words were, “don’t eat for at least 3 hours”.  My response, “you bet”. 

 

I just polished off the best scrambled eggs I have ever eaten.  It’s a wonderful thing.